Close up magician?

A close up magician?

Close up bloody wastrel more like it. 

Poncing around in a waistcoat showing card tricks for a bloody arm and a leg? That’s not a proper job.

That’s the problem with today’s generation. Don’t know the meaning of hard graft. I’ve got a bloody degree in hard graft. Got it from the University of Hard Knocks. This lot? What they got. Probably got a degree in Pissfarting About from the University of Spoilt Bastards.

And magic?

For crying out loud. I remember when entertainment was entertainment. But you can’t say anything funny nowadays or the bloody woke police’ll arrest you for it. I had a redacted in the back of the cab the other day. Called them a redacted redacted. Before you know it, I’m being hauled over the coals for being a redacted redacted. Bloody political correctness gone mad I’m telling you.

Where was I?

Oh yes. Today’s generation. Always bloody whining.

“We can’t get on the housing ladder”

They make me sick. I got a semi in 1980 because I bloody grafted for it. And I’ve still got that same semi to this day. And it’s bloody marvellous. When I tell today’s generation about my glorious 42 year semi, they just laugh. Bloody ignorant bloody idiots. 

If they had my work ethic, they could be just like me. But no. They want the latest iphones, avocados, flat screen tellys and netflicks don’t they. Too busy blocking the traffic by riding their bikes on the pavements without bloody helmets or insurance or protesting about so-called bloody climate change to do any serious grafting. 

And don’t even get me started on “climate change”

“Oh, but 97% of climate scientists agree it’s an imminent danger to mankind”

So bloody what. 98% of my mates agree it’s a load of bloody tosh. I remember ‘76. Man up. Have a mini milk. Look at the birds in bikinis. You whinging bloody shower of piss. You lot make me sick.

Now, what was I on about?

Oh yeah. Get a proper job. Do some proper graft. And stop whining on you entitled bunch of wusses.

Now love what was it you were asking about again? 

“A close up magician Dad. I want one at my wedding. That Jack Strange guy looks really good. He’s got great reviews. Can we book him?”

Close up magician?

A close up magician?

Close up bloody wastrel more like it.