So, a little while ago, I had an awkward phone call…
“You haven’t replied to my messages! I’m looking for a wedding magician”
“I’d be delighted to perform at your wedding, but I really haven’t had any messages from you”
“I’ve sent several. Through your contact form…”
So, at this point I go into full on web-tinkering mode. Sent myself a contact form message – Test. Then Test 2. Hello Jack. Hello Jack 2. Please may I book a wedding magician. Please may I book a wedding magician 2. You get the drift. When it comes to web tinkering, I am nothing if not thorough.
The outcome – every single one came through. Every freaking one. Within seconds.
This was vexatious. No one wants a faulty contact form. Absolutely no one wants an inexplicably intermittent contact form.
So, I contacted my web developer*
(* I say web developer. It’s actually my mate Joe. He’s handy with internets, and for a curry every couple of years, he fixes the website when I break it. Which reminds me, I owe Joe a curry. Joe if you’re reading this, get in touch and I’ll book the Gulshan again.)
Joe tinkers. He probes. I suspect he tries several test messages that get through perfectly.
“There’s nothing wrong here. What was the guy’s name?”
“Malcolm”, I say. “Malcolm Hardon**”
“Well”, says Joe. “I think we have found your problem”
It turns out that my particular contact form has an obscenity filter. Hardon was not getting through. I tried it. And several others too. Many others if I’m being honest.
(** For the purpose of GDPR, and client confidentiality, I have subtly changed the name. It was actually Simon Hardon”)
Which brings me to the point of this blog. If you look in the bottom right hand corner of the screen right now, you should now see a little contact icon. And if you click it, you can send me a message on WhatsApp bypassing the prudish contact form! I tried it! It works. And it really doesn’t matter what you’re called.
So, to conclude: If you’re looking for a magician, please get in touch.
But if you are called Malcolm Hardon, Arthur Titwank, Harry Muff, Petra Pissflaps, Lady Garden, Pegging Mitchell, Steve Schlong, Belinda Boner, Jonny Badcock, Lulu Slackfanny or Herbert Minge…