Trump

Me: Give me a blog topic

Facebook: Trump!

Me: (about a month later) Ta Dah!

 

I like to think I’m the direct opposite of Twitter’s Donald Trump.

An “Anti Trump” if you will.

(An anti-trump sounds like it might be a thing. Sucking back a fart before it escapes. I’ll stop now)

No, what I mean is we are as opposite as it’s possible to be. For example, I love everything Scandinavian. The liberal, socialist, eco-friendly, high taxing, low gun crime utopia of Scandinavia sounds idyllic to me. I especially like IKEA. Trump on the other hand, not terribly keen on such values. Quite against all of them in fact. I bet he doesn’t even like Norwegian crime fiction. Or flat pack.

Our tolerances differ too. I’m tolerant of peaceful protest, and INtolerant of Nazis, domestic abuse and school shootings. See, total opposites again.

I could keep going; climate change, science, racism, use of social media, abuse of power, nepotism, sexism. I like to think that there is NOTHING we agree on. As for arming teachers. I know teachers. They would never pass a background check. Most of them are far from mentally stable. Once again, me and Donald disagree.

Now, this probably begs a few questions…

“You’re both compulsive liars though. Explain that Strange”. Yeah. OK. But, that’s my job. I get paid to deceive. And that involves a little fibbing. Just little ones though. Things like, “…and the deck’s vanished”. (Fib. I just put it in my pocket when you weren’t looking). Or, “I can tell from that glint in your eye that you’re thinking of the four of clubs.” (Total fib. I know what you’re thinking because I planted the seed earlier! Seriously. As if I could get that from a glint!) I don’t however come out with malicious whoppers. “The last magician had crowds much smaller than these” or “No Russian magicians helped me learn these tricks” for example.

“You’re both rubbish at growing hair though. Maybe you two are similar after all. You big loser”. OK, I’ll give you that. But we do approach it in different ways. I like to think that my sleek, shaved look exudes style, possibly even sophistication, whereas his elaborate, 40 minute each morning, coiffing makes him look like a dick.

“But Jack, you  self indulgent but well groomed buffoon”, I hear you cry, “What the flip has this to do with magic? This is supposed to be a magic blog…blah, blah blah… you’ll not be 56th best on the internet anymore, and you can’t even do political satire, it’s neither funny, nor hard hitting, and has stuff all to do with magic”

Now, that I grant you is a fair point. Allow me to address it. There is one final difference. One magical difference. One that will make sense of this whole rather disjointed blog.

Palming Cards

You see, I love palming cards. (For any aficionados, my preferred version is the Roberto Giobbi one handed top palm. Though other palms are available. See video. Of course, the flicking of a card into the palm of the hand is normally done with a face down deck. This vid kind of gives it away a little)

Palming involves hiding a card in your palm without anyone noticing. When I was first learning, I used to just keep a card palmed for as long as I could just to make sure no one would notice. My record was just under a week.

And, that is the difference. The big, big difference. Trump doesn’t just hate palming cards. He just can’t. As these pictures demonstrate.

My Palm

Donald’s Palm

If you’re reading this Donald, you should realise now this wasn’t political satire. Just a magic blog. A rather lazy blog about magic. A blog about the art of the card palm. That’s all.  Just a guy with regular sized hands blogging about palming.

Nothing libellous.

You tiny handed freak.