Jul 22 2017
You know, I find my veiny forearms quite embarrassing. (Note, that’s fore arms, not four arms. I don’t have four veiny arms. Euugh!)
I find shaking my arms above my head does the trick – but that’s not the kind of thing that goes down well during a walk around magic gig. (“Darling, why is that man waving like he’s drowning over by the top table”). There’s also another cure I’ve found that involves persuading blood to flow elsewhere. But that is even more inappropriate than the drowning wave.
So, I googled “veiny forearms” hoping to find a cure. You know what? The top searches were, “how do I get veiny forearms?”. Apparently it’s a thing! Hugh Jackman’s are regarded as a very fine example. Apparently, it shows you’re lean. I’m still not keen though. Unveined would be my preferred look.
I know what you’re thinking. “Wear sleeves you vain freak!”(unintentional pun there!) Good advice, but if I may refer you back to an earlier blog, sleeveless magic is much stronger.
Happily I’ve found a solution! And it’s all down to one of my heroes, Penn Jillette. You see, Penn always performs magic with his little finger nail painted red. Ever noticed? Of course not. It’s the ultimate misdirection. His magic is so strong, no one notices.
And so that is my (much less embarrassing than my other methods) technique of hiding them. Look at this picture; arms out, everyone looking elsewhere! Misdirected by astonishment!
So now, I’m happy to perform, sleeves rolled up knowing my grotesque veininess will go totally unnoticed! Unless of course I’m performing for some weird Hugh Jackman fans. They’re welcome to have a good look.